Does your Baby Really Need it? Must Haves Versus Scam

I got WAY too much stuff for our son so I thought I would share what we use and don’t use at the 4 month mark. Obviously, this is extremely personal and your list could be very different. Let’s get right into it for the sake of exposing our culture of consumerism. Brands literally target us telling us we NEED these items and were meant to feel like we aren’t good parents if we don’t have them.

OUR MUST HAVES

The baby bjorn bouncer

We used this from day 1, but he fell in love with it the older he got as he could look around versus being flat on his back. A safe place to put him down and you can move it to any room with you. We used to bounce him to sleep when he was a newborn, but now it’s what I place him in when I’m eating and he happily bounces himself. He’s outgrown it as he has started sliding right out of it, but we haven’t stopped using it because it’s just so convenient. Something similar to this would be a must on our list. This was gifted second hand to us from a friend. If I was buying it new I would get one that goes beyond the 3-4 month age.

Dresses for bedtime

I bought two before he was born, thinking we were having a girl, but then it dawned on me how freaking convenient this is for diaper changes in the night. Oh my gosh, so much better than snaps or zippers, yes even double zippers. I got ours here and I’m obsessed with their offerings. I bought everything on black friday and boxing day to save a little hard earned cash. PS I now change him on the bed in the night and can’t believe I didn’t think of this earlier.

A mattress protector

I talk more about why we needed this in the crib section, but yes…. so much yes. Our mattress was ruined within the first few weeks and then a friend told me about a breathable mattress protector that goes under your fitted sheet. Life changing! For some strange reason, we had SO many blow outs with Hello Bello newborn diapers. It was a lot of added stress and wasted time changing the sheets. I eventually put down a thin blanket that was gifted to us in case he spat up, added the protector for any pee spills and laundry reduced - and most important, I won’t have more ugly mattress stains.

The hakka

I was obsessed with the hakka for his first 2 months earth-side. My entire freezer stash of milk is from the hakka, not a pump. Some say, it causes over supply issues, but I loved it because it caught all the milk a spit up cloth normally would. Note: I never use it anymore, but I think it is worth the money for those couple months.

Burp cloths

I only bought two pretty small ones and I’m sooo thankful that friends gifted me their used one because I needed WAY more than 2 and theirs are bigger. We needed these! If I wasn’t using the hakka (too lazy at times) I would put one on my opposite side to catch milk and the second would be used for the babe. I still keep one with me at all times, but I would say we started using it less around 3 months.

Nursing bra and tank

My friend gave me her old nursing bra and it is by far the comfiest one I own. I sometimes wear a sports bra now, but I find feeding way easier in this bra. This says a lot from me as I find most bras, even wireless, uncomfortable. Your rib cage expands so previous bras probably won’t fit. I returned the Knix bra because I found it very stiff, even though it apparently loosens up over time. I do love this nursing tank (get a deal with this link) and I ended up getting a medium plus - this just fit while engorged and now it’s a little baggy in the tummy, but hey, comfort. I often wear it with a tee shirt over a top if out of the house and with nothing over it when home.

Carriers

I loved the sling style, I used Moby, when he was a newborn. However, there were days it took way too long to put on when he was fussing. I definitely think he preferred this to the ergo when first born. Now, that he’s 14 lbs we use the ergo omni 360 exclusively (no added infant insert needed). I got grey and the mesh style so it’s cooler for him and I in the summer. I bought the wrap off facebook market place so it wasn’t too pricey. It’s nice to have options because you don’t know what your baby will like - but you could always grab one once you need it. I think it’s common that babies prefer to be tightly wrapped when first born - good for naps too.

I have a Thule stroller and our guy used to get the worst witching hours so I’d often use it to get him to sleep. Now that he is older and we have 2 dogs, I usually gravitate towards a carrier versus the stroller - but I definitely still use it. Soemtimes, I’ll head out and he falls asleep on the way there so I’ll keep him in his car seat and load it into the stroller versus waking him and putting him into the ergo. The Thule is BIG, yet we love that it’s great on trails, sand and the option to run is there when his neck is more stable. I question if my body will ever be able to run again, but hopefully Bryce uses it!

The sound machine

We got this one as a gift from a friend and we love it. I can sleep with it on and I think it helps keep him calmer when he gets fussy. Riley often wakes between sleep cycles during naps, but when out for a walk, in the car or at night, we love it.

Diaper caddy

I added this to a baby shower list because friends and family were asking what I wanted. I didn’t think i’d love it so much, but I do. I was originally going to put it in the living room or bedroom. I’ve been storing on his dresser beside the ikea changing pad and it helps with more convenient changes because the diapers and wipes are right there. Not a must, but something I do use daily. I got mine gifted from Chapters, but amazon also carries it. You could just use an existing plastic tupperware and save $50.

Items for mom

Highly recommend these pjs’s - I bought a pair before the babe and have since bought 2 more pairs. I am OBSESSED. They are so comfortable and trust me, you’ll be spending a lot of time in bed the first month. I sized up to a medium and they fit me while pregnant too!

Quality sheets! I got these from organic sustainable ones Takasa and they gave me a code to share with you. Save 20% off with JordanbXTakasa. They are so comfortable and I use nellies whitening powder to keep them white.

Bibs

I started using these daily once the drool started. They are also great for small spit ups and means less washing of outfits!

Books and toys

I bought a couple cute stuffies and teething style rings, but the rest was gifted. We have way to many stuffed animals (all so cute). We also have soooo many books , which he likes looking at and trying to put in his mouth. I think having variety in books is almost better for the parents so you don’t get sick of reading the same one over and over. At 4 months, he loves the crinkle stype toys and books, however when he wasn’t interesting in any toys 0-2 months. Used books are a great idea or asking your friends who have older kids.

dirty feet : )

I sometimes use

Muslins and blankets

Why do I have so many of these? I love them both, but Riley has always loved self soothing with his hands so swaddling was never in the picture. I’d be ok with 1-2 muslins for partially covering the baby carrier/stroller and maybe if I was feeding outside on a sunny day. Babies aren’t sleeping with blankets so I have no idea why I have 6? haha. One heavy and one lightweight would be ample for stroller rides or chilly mornings in the bjorn.

Snuggle me organic

Similar to the dock-a-tot, we loved this when he was a newborn. He napped in it all the time (yup, I let him) and it was perfect on the couch. Now, I never use it…. so for the price tag, I’d try to grab one second hand if interested.

Pump

I was gifted a second hand pump and that’s the only reason I have one. I don’t recommend buying one brand new until you need it. I used it maybe 3-4 times when I was engorged and he was napping in the newborn phase. I haven’t used it since. I’m with Riley all the time though, so it may be different if you’re going back to work early or you want to increase your milk supply. I was advised to wait 1 month prior to trying a bottle to avoid nipple confusion. It was a hard long month as I fed him throughout the night without help from my partner. We tried a 2-3 times after the month mark and then I found I didn’t need help, it was easier to just put him on the boob. For mother’s day, I was gifted a service of my choice and I was out of the house for maybe 2 hours. During this time, he ended up needing a feed and my partner tried the bottle and he wouldn’t take it. He cried until I got home (maybe 15 minutes, but it broke my heart) and then he fed. He was hungry, but wanted the real thing.

Diaper genie

We were gifted one unexpectedly and we do use it.. however, I’ve been told once they start solids, it STINKS. I’ve heard there are better ones that aren’t plastic, metal I believe, that don’t retain as much smell. It was suggested to me to dump the solid waste once he starts eating to avoid it smelling really bad. We are waiting to start solids until he is 6 months so we’ll see. My doula just used her regular garbage can and I think that’s a great idea - especially now as it doesn’t smell bad from my breastmilk.

Soothers

He didn’t take one for the first month, then it was his favourite thing ever and now he doesn’t take it. I bought all the pretty fancy ones and of course, we end up having to buy this one which they use in NICU.

Baby towel

I was kindly gifted a nice and think organic baby towel with a hood from Takasa. We love it post shower, however, it isn’t a must. You could just use a regular towel. My goal post weekly shower is to get him as warm as quickly as possible so the hood is a bonus.

Diaper bag

I think this is the biggest scam and I fell for it. Just use a regular backpack! duh. I put this in sometimes since I own one, but I wouldn’t recommend buying a special expensive diaper bag. Just use an existing backpack or get a hershel bag, it will cost less and can be used for other functions.

We haven’t used…

The crib/bed linens

While pregnant, I knew the recommendation was to keep your baby in your room for at least 6 months, 1 year is actually preferable to reduce the risk of SIDS. I had no plans of bed sharing and I even spent way too much money on a custom bassinet mattress and organic sheets for him (he did nap in the bassinet occasionally, but now he dislikes it). One nurse at the hospital, yes I ended up there even with intentions of having a home birth, was known as the breastfeeding expert. She told me about ALL the benefits of of breast feeding while side lying. I admit, this is a lot easier now as he doesn’t spit up often - he would projectile vomit before. We also only use the nursery for his clothing and diaper changes so I even question needed an entire room at this young age.

Breastfeeding pillow

My friend recommended the one she loved so I bought it to prevent poor posture and back pain. It did NOT work for me and I just sold it. I have a long torso so maybe that’s why, however I found the pillow to small, far from my chest. I highly recommend just using a bunch of pillows and getting one second hand to test out if you do want to try it. I think a lot of it is how you sit with it too. Someone told me they love the Snuggle Me Organic pillow and they sit off the side of their bed with one legged crossed to raise the pillow up a bit.

Swing

My friend’s kid loved theirs, but I think we bought it too late to justify the expense (3 months). Next time, I’d get it for the newborn phase and choose one with a small footprint. They’re not supposed to sleep in them so if you do get one, keep an eye on them. The baby bjorn mini is our fav, but they both max out around 3-4 months so we have some awkward time until he fits in the activity centre (possibly wasted $ haha) I often throw him down on a comfy playmate from indigo - a blanket could also be used!

Postpartum goodies for mom

I personally didn’t freeze any, I tried once and didn’t notice a difference. Plus, in TCM it’s recommended to be warm for healing, not cold. I did go through lots of the pull up diapers and big pads however. If you tear, then you may. need the water bottle for urination. I had a long labour so I only had a mini stitch and I personally didn’t need it. I did use nipple cream (vegan stuff), but I’m not sure if it helped or not? I would get the silverettes earlier next time - they were gifted to be too late in the journey.

Warming milk contraptions

If you choose to bottle feed, there is no need to warm the milk! Buy once you find a need for it, not in advance

Warming baby wipes

This just seems so unnecessary to me. We LOVE the hello bello wipes by the way. Packaging, ease of access and less nasty’s are important.

Helmet

I can’t believe this exists… it does!

Specific changing table

I just added a changing pad to the top of his dresser and it works fine - or, use the ground with a mat. I love Gathre because it doesn’t absorb the liquid and it’s super easy to clean, or the amazon ones that are vegan and more affordable

Breastfeeding covers

A friend gave me hers and I used it once at my dad’s place. Now, I just whip it out and he looks the other way. If you’re shy at first, just use a muslin cover.

Gloves

I found the mini gloves for their sharp long nails silly. He loved to self soothe so covering his hands didn’t make sense to me. Instead, we cut and filed his nails. To be honest, I don’t think the baby nail clipper I got is any different. I also bought him winter gloved and found it impossible to get them on him.

Snot sucker

I was gifted this and I’ve yet to use it. I just pick his boogers with my finger or a cloth haha.

Breathing monitor

I will be anxious when he does transfer to a crib, so I’ll probably use the second hand one my friend gifted me. Right now, there’s no need as we bed share and I get to feel him breathing beside me. No need to get up and check. Plus, did you know their breathing is regulated by ours? Another way to reduce SIDS. Always ensure you plan to bed share to reduce risks - the studies were unfortunately done on people that didn’t plan and included intoxicated parents and blankets near the child. Bed sharing makes it so easy to feed and I love cuddling him.

I’m sure I’ll keep thinking of items after I hit publish, this is a decent list though!

Comment below with your MUST HAVES versus SCAMMED items. I’m so curious what you loved and what you never used.

PS I love the store, Boutique Le Mechant, for a few really nice items, no kickback or anything. I got so much second hand from friends and facebook marketplace too. Don’t over buy clothing! I was gifted so many short sleeve onesies (thank you!) and I personally found it harder to find long sleeve ones. Remember to keep the weather in mind for their age as this will impact the clothing your babe will wear.

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